Rapped to the theme of Ice Cube's "It Was a Good Day"
*Parental Advisory, Parental Lyrics
Half awake and need a coffee to go
No barking from Spirit, nor another dog
And Mummum cooked a breakfast with no hog
I got my workout on, but didn't lift heavy
Lifting too much iron takes it's own kinda levy
Hooked it up on phonics working Bardot's ABC's
Thinking will she read by the time she hits her threeze
I gotta sing because she's bored with my talkin'
Then I strap up Pierce and we all go walkin'
Take the little girl to soccer class
She decides that nows the time to simply sit on her ass
No, everything is alright
Coach Diana is definitely not that uptight
Walked up to Lemonade and got some mac-n-cheeze
Can I also get some adult food with that please?
Bardot eats a ton of grub and still makes a mess
I didn't clean under the table I must now confess
Time to walk home for her nap-time
A few hours until Bardot's mom's home and she's a freakin' dime
On the way home Bardot jumped ship
Hit the sidewalk, screaming and bleeding, mutha-fuckin-shit
One kid sleeping the other weeping
I gotta get back home
I want to let Mummum know what's up
But I can't quite hold the phone
Bardot's now calmed down but she's
Shaken up, shaken up, shaken up, shaken
I'm trying to console her and make sure she's not fakin'
Do I head to the clinic or play Nurse Jimmy
All I want to do is see my crying girl just shimmy
I picked up her crumpled body
I tell her she gets a sticker when we get home if she goes potty
She's been so good today, but
Today was a dad day
Getting home I see a neighbor
A guy who's always offered to walk Spirit as a favor
Had to get inside to get the kids to bed
Feeling bad that baby girl has hit her head
I changed the diaper on her little fanny
It's hilarious when people think I'm my kids' manny
Bardot wanted to sit on my lap, that's a trap, it's time for your nap
Woke her up around six
She freaked out and greeted me with kicks
Mummum and I tried to calm her down
Twice in the same day I'm trying to reverse her frown
While she was napping I got a milk bath
Her little bro Pierce showed me his stomach's wrath
Today was like one of those nightmares
Naked, coated in honey, and being chased by bears
Trying to get my mind wrapped around another day
Two young kids in the home the mind can start to fray
Someone saw me today and called me a dadda-pimp
I am eating so much Winston's pie I feel like the Goodyear Blimp
I want to get drunk as hell but no more throwing up
The two year old's temper is still blowing up
What kind of image will I portray?
I got to say it was a dad day
Hey wait, wait a minute, soiled diaper, shit
What the fuck am I thinking about?
