We made it!!! We kept Bardot alive for a whole month! And we didn't kill each other in the process!
|I fell asleep on top of Spirit, Bardot fell asleep on top of me. Spirit: WTF!?|
After the first month of life obliterating alterations, we finally realized why people tell you how old their infant is in months for the first 2 years, it isn't that the infant survived that long, but that the parents survived those months. My eyes have been opened to this new world, new paradigm, and I am celebrating that Kate & I are still in one piece.
I nearly died last Tuesday of a massive panic attack. We were driving to San Clemente to retrieve newly screened jerseys for our Coyote Running programs, and on the drive down Bardot spit up in her car seat. Kate was driving, I was in the passenger seat, our pup Spirit was along for the ride, and baby BAMF spit up, and it plugged her nose and went partially down her windpipe. The coughing sounded so strange, and when I looked at the mirror we placed on the headrest above her, she wasn't breathing, her face was red and eyes seemed to be bulging. I unbuckled, jumped in the back to unstrap her and when I got face-to-face with her the expression on her face broke my heart 1,000 times (and sent my panic into hyperdrive). I put her on my shoulder and burp patted her back until she coughed everything up, then used the suction bulb syringe to clear her nostrils.
Babies are resilient, I'm quite positive of that when examining the world's skyrocketing population numbers, not to mention the variance of conditions infants and toddlers and children are raised in all over our globe. And obviously, this probably wasn't a true life threatening situation. But holy crap, a little moment like that is quite sobering.
We had parental meltdowns #5 and #6 tonight. Double-meltdown #2. It's roughest when you don't feel like your partner is in your corner, i.e. you're both drained/wiped/depleted so nobody can pick up the slack for the other. I should be sleeping right now, I guess. Tomorrow is another day...
|BAMF's first dress - thanks Auntie Ta'Mara!|
|How many cute faces can I make? Infinity. Plus one!|
|Was running out the door. Nope. Diaper needs changin'|
|Even asleep, she owns me.|